Dec 16, 2015

Orange's La Fibre is a master of Theatricality and Deception

I recently wrote about Orange's high speed internet services being available in Mauritius and the region where I live. I was excited about being able to watch a 5-minute video on YouTube without the latter dying on me because "my connection isn't supa dupa fast enough". As it turns out, this was Theatricality and Deception just like in the Batman Trilogy.



The truth is that when you phone Orange to request for their technicians to visit you for the upgrade, it may not get in the system. What this means is that it will definitely not be recorded in their system and you need to chase them like their shadow to make things happen.

Picture this.

I originally phoned them on Monday 30 November to ask that they upgrade my line. That's more than two weeks ago. The girl on the line, whom I presume works for CSL, tells me my request has been recorded in the system and that their technical would contact me soon. To ensure that I'm not forgotten (and mostly because I'm an asshat), I also apply through their website.

Then comes the waiting part.

Optics. Serious business.


It's now Monday 14 December, which makes it exactly two weeks since I had asked them to do whatever they are supposed to do. As nobody ever contacted me, I dial 8902, the most dreaded telephone number in my world, and ask why I'm being taken for a fool and Orange does not want my money. Imagine my surprise when I am informed that no such request exists in their system. I am this time assured that someone would contact me this week.

Today is Wednesday 16. Since I would really like my Internet speed to be upgraded, I decide to phone them to enquire when someone would actually contact me to discuss my request for their high speed internet.

I am again informed that no such requests exists in their system for my landline.

True story.

I explain to the representative that this is the second time I'm being told I never applied for an upgrade. I know I'm sometimes crazy and forgetting stuff because I get older every year but this is beyond comprehension.

I also explain that this cannot be happening as I also applied online ages ago. Imagine my surprise when the representative's answer is that I should not use the online form posted on their website as it is not a guarantee that my request will be processed. Her advice is I should go in one of the Orange shops to make my request in person there.

In other words:
1) Orange creates a form on their website for customers to apply for services but their representatives are of the opinion that this form is bloody useless.
2) Orange has a hotline where representatives state that the hotline is pretty much useless and I should instead go to the shop.

Here are my arguments:
1) Orange wants everybody to go online but apparently ignores online requests via its own website. In that case, I cannot imagine why they would send me an email confirmation after my online application. Silly me for thinking that the Internet was supposed to make things simpler.
2) If you have a hotline, it is your duty to ensure that your staff or contractor or whoever handles the line does not tell me that I'm wasting my time with that same hotline.

When I started to get pissed off, the Orange representative again searched into the system and changed her argument. Apparently, there was "something" in the system about my request but it was ignored by everybody. For my request to be processed, I would have to escalate my simple request to a complaint which is one of the most fucked up things I've been told by a business. It's basically as if they have a complaint target for the year and they want customers to complain to be taken seriously.

The question however remains: how many complaints does it take for them to consider my humble request?

And when exactly do I get initiated to Theatricality and Deception?